The evening opened with Is This Seat Taken by Sean Baker, performed by the Service Players. We’re in the bar of the Hideaway Hotel, Will (Neil Callin) arrives, spots lonely Laura (Helen McKenna) and makes his move. As Hawkeye Andy the barman watches from the bar (Howard Caine – in between reading his newspaper – it’s a quiet night) we discover a few interesting things. Will’s in lingerie and Laura’s in drugs, which might account for the double Bicardi’s she is not sure she likes. Worst of all – they’re married, and it’s 50 shades of roll play night (I think the safe word is ‘sorry’). Despite the rehearsals ‘if I come in again, maybe you could start the conversation?’ it doesn’t work and they row. Laura wants a baby but she’s unhappy with Will. Will went with a prostitute once and thinks missing the toilet bowl is creative(?) They row more! Will storms off and Laura turns to Andy for solace (and wine… then more wine). They barely have time for a worthy discussion on the Master and Margarita (Bulgarkov, not the cocktail), when Carrie (Beth Davies) stilleto’s in, brandishing a thong. Has Will thrown his off in despair? Are Andy & Laura having a fling? Carrie thinks so, but too late, Laura flees leaving Andy to perish. Except Carrie is Andy’s partner & they’re into roll play too. (By now my money’s on Andy & Will ending up in a clinch). Andy leaves Sassy Carrie in charge of the bar, Will gets drunker cos Carrie pours whiskey by the pint (that’s my kind of barmaid), but Andy’s bowtie is still twitching, he’s Den Watts to Carrie’s Ange and he wants a divorce. Fortunately Laura reappears and plays the prostitute especially for Will, which is ok cos she’s awfully good value. I’d like to finish with ‘and they lived happily ever after’ at this point but I’m not sure it’s in very good taste. A comedy of confusion, with four strong performances, spirited dialogue and excellent timing throughout. Great start to an entertaining evening.

Second up was The Book Club of Little Witterington by Joan Greening, performed by Hog The Limelight. The opening English country village music told us we were in a sitting room, not a lounge, and there is probably a body in the library. There’s also a vicar called Denis (unseen), and a husband called Jeremy also unseen (he’s apparently playing bowls, but I think he’ll be in his shed). Terminally nice Jenny (Jenny Kelly) the facilitator (like the Terminator but with cake) has opened her home to the charming ladies of the Little Witterington book club. They’ve been reading Pride and Prejudice, but I’m not sure which version because they didn’t get the irony. Belle (Maire Stevens) is unhappy because she can’t persuade the Denis the vicar that he might wear the frock, but she’s got the trousers. Hippie Ruth (Tracey Jones), sorry, happy Ruth was crocheting something square, because the whole makes up the one, but I think this one was more hole. Sarah (Christine Edge) is a resting actress but the wine glass from where I was sitting, looks like it’s half full of whiskey, so lets hope she’s not driving home (arrested actress..!). Into this warm friendly bosom of welcomeness comes Paula (Sinead Venus) the new money. She’s only got a 10 bed, 6 acre mansion, and when she’s not trying to work out what drugs Ruth is on (I reckon Ritalin), she’s so hungry she’s trying not to chew her own arm off. The cake is mere inches away but Paula just can’t persuade anyone to hand it out. Belle can smell chavness a mile off and snipes away at Paula till she realises there’s something to be gained, i.e. a mansion and 6 acres for the Church Fate, (if only we knew what the donkey got up to last year). This appeared to be a gentle village comedy but it actually had five strong, contrasting roles for women. We enjoyed meeting these clearly defined characters and there was some great comic timing and delivery, the cast were enjoying themselves too. What more could we ask for!

The last piece tonight was Last Train to Nibroc by Arlene Hutton performed by Rushen Players. This was a non competitive entry. May (Saoirse Coyle-Carroll) and Raleigh (Michael Williams) played out the first act of this play and left us all wanting to know how if finishes. It started well, a packed train to heading eastbound across America in the early years of the 2nd world war. Rayleigh didn’t get a seat for most of the way, he’s heading to New York after his discharge from the Army on Medical grounds. He spots an empty seat next to May, and her religious book, but it doesn’t put his off. She plans to be a missionary and is travelling home for Christmas. She also thinks he’s trying to steal her window seat. The window seat she fought for, so she tells him very clearly, he’s not having it. It’s lovely speech, he hasn’t asked her to move, but that doesn’t matter, May is not budging for nobody (or anybody), if anyone is going to drum their head into concussion snoozing up against the rattling window it’s going to be May. Raleigh then tells her that F Scott Fitzgerald and Nathaniel West are on the train. May knows they are both dead, so they can’t be, but turns out they’re in their coffins. Now there’s a chat up line! (Must admit, I’d have gone and looked). They discover they are from neighbouring towns and Raleigh wants to take May to the festival at Nibroc, but that’ too racy for May, she hasn’t been but she’s heard stories. May was played as a sweet, naïve, brave young lady, she’s planned her life as a missionary but the worlds opening up, and there might be more to it than she thought. Rayleigh is similar but with the experience of a young man who’s served in the American forces. He’sgoing to be a writer, and is full of confidence about his future. This young couple spoke for 20 minutes before even introducing themselves, that is the joy of the writing. The atmosphere was perfectly pitched, both actors delivered beautifully understated performances, and they looked and sounded authentic. The simple staging enhanced the whole thing, so roll on part 2! I’d love to see it.

• Helen Clarke, MADF Treasurer

We opened tonight with a charming production of The Frog Prince by Malcolm Sircom, performed by the Manx National Youth Theatre Juniors. The age range of the cast was 6-10 years, and some of these very young performers were out on stage acting, waltzing and even singing solo’s. It was a joy to see a group so young join our festival, and hopefully they will continue to enjoy live theatre in years to come. They had a few stand in’s but it didn’t stop them and the teamwork from the cast was great. The script was sharp and witty, and put me right off their school staff room. We met Evil Queen Malicia (boo!) and the magic Mirror (Emma Williams) fairy tale meets the 21st century. Chumley the Butler (Angel-Sue Delaney) played with great energy, is sent on a mission to dispose of the pretty, talented Princess Aurora (Connie Graham). The capable Princess easily outwits the evil attempt on her life with the help of Denis the Dragon (Beth Aldridge), which was lucky because he’d forgotten where he’d hidden himself… we all know that feeling. I heard one of the best ever public service warnings from the narrator (Frances Loach). Quite right, a gentleman should never risk losing his teeth. This led us to Witch Toejam (Aryssa Fairburn) who sparred with her challenging cat Figaro (Libby Delaney), I wouldn’t trust their cooking. The Frog Prince (Daniel Lawrie) charmed the princess with his french accent (what is it about the French?) and everyone was supported by the very cute birds and butterflies, I loved the idea of the worm bombs! (Dylan Wilson, Max Covery, Rebecca Stevens, Ellie Clague, Lily Batty, Annie Teare, Mia Corrills, Faye Coll, Summer Friel, Kirsten Loach, Elitza Wordanovs. Great team effort from everyone, cast and crew, and I’ll do my best not to have any more flashbacks relating to the treacle torture.

Our second piece tonight was RIP Mr Shakespeare by Keith Hill & Bev Clark, performed by Broadway Youth Theatre. This opened with a rainbow of circus colour, the cast on stage effortlessly tripping out unrelated Shakespearean one liners with absolute confidence. They were clowns and clowning, convincingly sad and happy altogether. William Shakespeare is in a care home, and the anonymous servant is not happy to have remained nameless. She may have had some quality lines in many productions, but a name is everything. We are taken on a journey through twenty of Shakespeare’s most famous plays, and it would be impossible to name all the highlights, because this piece was a highlight in its entirety. The Tartan in the Scottish play, the auditioner searching for his inspiration. Will’s mum chatting with Ben Johnson’s mum, she had a moustache? (tho that could be accurate). Brummie Juliet with her clowning Romeo, Grange Hill (?), Pyramus & Thisbe – strictly no tongues – and the Witches pacing their cauldron. The night sky of stars and the moon, Ophelia’s funeral, Henry V and Mrs Macbeth all made an appearance, and eventually the Anonymous servant becomes Denis (her choice, what better name). Will Shakespeare breathes his last, I hope it wasn’t caused by the midsummer nightmare. The stage moved continuously with such pace and colour, and not just from the costumes. Tiny details of dressing and perfectly placed props made it flow from start to finish. Lines were delivered unfalteringly, and the confidence and teamwork made everything a joy to watch. All credit to director Carrie Hunt. I hope they enjoyed themselves, we all did! Congratulations to the company, Christian Cooper, Kirsty More, Jack Smollen, Laeth Quellin, Joseph Long, Matilda Whittle, Faye Pendlebury, Saoirse Coyle-Carroll, Sophie Elliott, Aalin Wilson and Feena Wilson.

• Helen Clarke, MADF Treasurer

First up tonight was the Manx National Youth Theatre performing The Snow Dragons by Lizzie Nunnery. The curtain opened with the spotlight on the trees (Leah Prow and Mary Teare) shrouded, ethereal and draped in Ivy. The stage was a wonderful mix of scaffolding, Fir trees, buckets, baskets, weapons, bins and bin lids. It looked like a children’s playground in the woods, and that’s exactly what it was. The actors clambered, scrambled and ran around every bit with confidence, energy and enthusiasm. Today we see fearless Raggi (Gracel Delos Santos) and her gang playing out their Snow dragon sagas, fighting with swords, spraying golden autumn leaves as dragon fire, and burning Ignoble to death (Joe Locke – he died well, he told us so). Then everything changes, and the children watch from the trees as their village is raided by the incoming occupation. As children though, they stay in the playground and just carry on, the Royals ran, but they are the last line of resistance surviving on stolen Nazi food. The contrasting characters are wonderful, defined, erratic and wise all at the same time. Viking Odd (Nathan Reynolds) found some unique (but not necessarily successful) hiding places. His big brother Harri (Alex Reynolds) has a very decisive right hook, and Snorri (Jaye Radcliffe) realises she has to leave her stories behind. Christi (Ryan Coates) climbed and mourned his lost grandfather, Marta (Abbie Williams) found her courage growing in unexpected ways and Sig (Scarlett Clague) watches and wonders if she’d ever see her brothers again. This was a wonderful piece of drama with a very moving tableaux ending. It made me think of the Syrian displaced children we read about today. I don’t know who survived the guns; we think (we hope) someone did. I don’t know who played the Nazis at the end, but well done to everyone, another remarkable ensemble production. To quote Raggi ‘we’re not done till we’re done for’ and this team are a long way from that.

Our second play was Dear Mother by Mark James. Where The Snow Dragons was busy and energised, this was the opposite, simple and dignified. Just three actors onstage, Mother (Georgie King) and son Thomas James Broke, who is seen in two stages of his life. Mother is reading letters from her son Thomas. We meet him first as an 11 year old, (Daniel Ansara) who was absolutely engaging, looking directly at the audience but apparently talking to us all individually. Watching young Thomas was his older self (Samuel Turk), now in uniform and persuaded to join up by a white feather in 1915 (he is only 18 years old). Thomas writes with such confidence about his part in the Great War machine, that we can feel his excitement. He’s training and growing and it’s thrilling but the truth of the Great War is never far off. Samuel delivers Thomas’ own vivid, shocking deterioration with great honesty. His Mother sits and listens, occasionally her hands shake, and we see a handkerchief, but where I’d be full of grief and rage, this Mother delivers the most powerful punch with silence and self-composure. The staging was minimal, and the music was emotive ending with the Last Post. As the poppies floated gently down onto the stage, I thought about the postscript from Thomas’s letter ‘Ps, I just want to come home’. A simple, effective, powerful production.

• Helen Clarke, MADF Treasurer

Time for the Truth by Lisa Creighton is a two hander set on a station platform somewhere in the south of England. Two strangers are waiting for a train to Slough, and while Kit played by Lisa Creighton is waiting patiently, Martin (Tom Cain) would like to attract her attention. How else do you strike up conversation with a young woman travelling alone, but by mentioning they have met before… when she tried to kill him. Kit doesn’t remember (and if it were true – for legal reasons neither would I), but Martin is convinced and does his best to be convincing. He tells her about herself, she’s an animal lover and as we discover, a fearless brawler where our furry friends are concerned. Kit – unsurprisingly – thinks he might be a stalker and looks for the spy camera. Martin keeps trying, and then starts to explain. Turns out they usually meet a week on Friday (stay with me) because Martin does a nifty line in time travel (unless you’re a cat). He’s no Dr Who, the furthest back he’s been is 1942 when he introduced himself to his granddad on an allotment and was cagey about his Nirvana t shirt. We never hear exactly how he explains himself on the allotment, but we do learn Martin cannot recommend drunken time travel, I won’t tell you how it ends, you should have bought a ticket, but it was a simple and effective piece, with sparky dialogue and clearly defined characters. Very entertaining start to the evening.

Cafe Society by Colin Calvert was directed by Rachel Martin who played Pauline, a customer in the cafe. Luigi the waiter (Chris Caine with an interesting walk) is bemoaning the missing condiments and Pauline is still waiting for the moustachioed Bella (Are you drunk again?) to provide her Fruita de la mer pizza. We never meet Bella – I think that’s a pity, she sounds interesting, but we do meet Patrick played by Karl Bovenizer. He arrives, cool shoes and a smart suit. After some pleasant conversation, all very normal, and quite a lot of wine, Pauline and Patrick share the pizza. Unusually though their conversation quickly turns into a scene from Brief Encounter which is not something I’ve ever done over Fruita de la Mer. In this version Stan won Celia with a beautifully delivered ‘bugger Geoffrey’ and they grip passionately amongst the chequered table cloths. It all brought tears to Luigi’s eyes, tho that might have been Bella’s cooking. Of course there’s a twist, and it all comes down to a misplaced door. Patrick isn’t quite what he seems (apparently he’s short sighted too). Three interesting characters played very nicely by the cast. Some very sensitive moments contrasted well with the comedy. The setting was clearly an Italian cafe and the ending came as quite a surprise. Would love to know what Noel Coward thought of their version of Brief Encounter too!

We’re in another café for the third play which is Waiting by Lisa Creighton. Highly strung Andy (Robin Higgins) is supposed to be in the gym but he turns up for his filter coffee and is apparently waiting to meet someone. He’s nervous so wise waitress Joy (Rachael McWhinnie) suggests decaff. Andy has lots of letters from Jules, not Julie his wife, but flamboyant Jules, wearer of the scarlet scarf. He’s never met Jules before, but he thinks he’d like her, seeing as Julie has been a bit mopey recently, what with the miscarriage and being depressed and a bit boring. (Do you like the sound of this guy?). Fortunately neither did fate, because next customer is colleague Richard (Adam Braidwood) who wonders what Andy is doing over this side of town. Poor Andy, Richard keeps asking awkward questions. He thinks on his feet, no cos he’s house hunting, his elderly neighbours are driving him out with their gifts of trifle. Paula (Rachael Webb) comes in next, she’s young & pretty, well maybe not that young says Andy (I’m liking him more and more). Poor wise Joy struggles bravely with Andy’s ego, spotting a similarity with her ex no doubt. We do get a flash of Andy’s childhood which answers some questions, and some Kate Bush & turns out Paula is using peppermint tea to subvert her desires for Gothic romance, though it doesn’t extend to cockroaches. Just to make Andy’s day the monster in law arrives Mrs Baxter (Lindsay Quayle) and she’s class, a spikey mission shopper with no patience and probably a neat right hook. Better still she’s meeting Julie (the wife!) for lunch in the very same café. Does Andy realise what a moron he’s been? Did Mrs Baxter ever get to punch his lights out – we’ll never know, but wonder if we ever got to meet Jules – nice one Linds… Great ensemble effort, great timing, and plenty of energy.

Excellent selection of entries to open the first night of the MADF One Act Play Festival 2017!

• Helen Clarke, MADF Treasurer